By: Lauren Neumeyer
Imagine a 10-year-old, let’s call her June, is returning to school after a summer spent with her family. While June claims she is looking forward to her 5th grade year, she complains about having a stomachache the day before orientation. The physical symptoms continue to escalate as school begins. Soon, June begins to have outbursts in class as she struggles to manage her feelings. Her mother is surprised, as this is unusual behavior for June. June’s teachers soon begin to report that, despite her intelligence, she has trouble sitting still and staying on task. Now, her grades are falling and she avoids homework. June begins to grow irritable around her family and friends. She becomes easily frustrated and overwhelmed when presented with tasks around the house. At this point, Mom is incredibly concerned so she schedules an appointment with the therapist who tells her about a condition called school anxiety.
The Elements of School Anxiety
School anxiety is a common concern among children in both traditional and nontraditional school settings. School anxiety can significantly impact a child’s academic performance, social interactions and overall well-being. Parents play a crucial role in identifying the signs and symptoms of school anxiety among their children and taking the actions necessary to support them. By becoming knowledgeable on the signs of school anxiety, parents can take the first step in meeting their child’s needs. Let’s address three of the most consistent signs that your child may be struggling with school anxiety:
Reluctance or refusal to attend school, often accompanied by tantrums or meltdowns.
School avoidance is a common sign of school anxiety; children who struggle with attending may find it extremely difficult to get out of bed, to get ready for school and/or to transport to school. They may plead to stay home and experience an overwhelming stress response when remaining home is not an option.
Somatic reactions
It is quite common for children who struggle with school anxiety to feel “sick” – tummy aches, headaches, nausea, etc. – and experience those intense feelings in the morning before school, before tests or presentations.
Inattention and/or restlessness
Not to be confused with ADHD, school anxiety is driven by worry about classroom expectations and obligations. It can present passive – daydreaming, unfocused or looking ‘lost’ during instruction – or with overt behavior such as fidgeting or pacing in the classroom.
Top Three Tips: Managing School Anxiety
If either of these signs are sounding familiar, don’t panic! Here are two tips for overcoming the symptoms of school anxiety:
Create a space for open communication and active listening.
Encourage your child to share their school experience with you. Give space for any concerns they may have about school such as social interaction, academic performance and other school experiences.
Validate their feelings.
While our parent brain seeks to immediately eliminate anything that causes our child discomfort, it is important that we allow them to express their feelings and affirm to them that it is normal to feel anxious at times.
Create a morning routine or timetable.
Creating and maintaining a morning routine for getting up, getting dressed, having breakfast and departing from the house can help ease the tension building up to school mornings. Minimizing uncertainty can help them start the day with less stress and more confidence.
You are not alone!
Parents and caregivers, it is important to remember that school anxiety is a common challenge that many children face. You are taking the first significant step in overcoming this challenge by learning and growing with your child, understanding what they need and advocating for them. Keep in mind, you are not alone! Together, we can create a brighter future for your child, where they can thrive academically, socially, and emotionally. Remember that you are doing an incredible job as a parent, and your love and support make a world of difference. Stay hopeful, stay strong, stay informed, and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Stay tuned Part 2 of “Does My Child Have School Anxiety?” Recognizing and Addressing School Anxiety in Children!