Category: Uncategorized

by: Sarah Rentrop, SWI

Welcome back!!

With this new entry, I’d like to set up some “psychoeducation” (which is exactly what it sounds like) related to my experiences on this autistic journey. I need you to know this stuff I’ve learned about, some of which I learned the hard way and some I found in good ole internet research rabbit holes.
So, you know that feeling after you suddenly find out there’s a name for something you’ve been through, and then it’s like the clouds have opened up and the sun shines over your whole life? That’s how finding this stuff made me feel. But not only did I find there were names for my experiences—I found there were multitudes of people all over the internet talking about these things too.

Before We Continue…

Before I start, I want to put something on The Record (though it’s possible this goes without saying): If you relate to the concepts I will share, it does not mean you’re autistic! In a (life-changing) book I mentioned last time, Uniquely Human (by Dr. Barry M. Prizant and Tom Field-Meyer), they write, “I have never seen an autistic person do something that I haven’t seen a so-called neurotypical person do.” They break down how the “hallmarks” of autism are actually common experiences among all of humankind and then make the distinction that, for autistic people, these things happen more “persistently [and] intensely”. (Oh, and let me make one more important point before we move on: We are not “all on ‘the spectrum’ somewhere”; that’s not how it works.)

With that, our little glossary encyclopedia now begins. I’ve crafted the entries to look how I think you’d expect them to—with anecdotes from me as well. I’m going to try my darnedest to keep everything from being “too dry” (because I don’t want to lose you—this stuff is too important)!

I wanted to start my psychoeducation moment with monotropism because, as you read, this theory is as close as we’ve come to an all-encompassing understanding of autism—so we almost have to start there. Right?
From all that time doing research, I already knew monotropism resonated with me, so then I was pumped to find a quiz about it! Some authors (cited above) had come together and created The Monotropism Questionnaire (Garau et al., 2023), and then, a self-proclaimed “bored web developer who thinks self-diagnosing is valid” made it into a quiz, which you can find at this link: https://dlcincluded.github.io/MQ/ .

Here are my results (which I’m going to use to build on the point that anyone could be #ActuallyAutistic, and you might never know it):

My quiz result gives a glimpse at how this brain truly works (which seems pretty dang monotropic to me)—meanwhile, I’ve told you that my autisticness (autisticity? autacity?) was never acknowledged until well into my adult life. How could it stay tucked away for so long???

To help on the way to explaining that phenomenon, I’ll be leaning on parts of a talk by Fergus Murray (the son of one of monotropism’s founders) at a 2023 conference of the Scottish Autism Research Group:

“Understanding other people requires tuning in to them, and sometimes that can be difficult if our attention is deeply absorbed in something else already.”

Murray, 2023

When we consider how our brains take in information and how much significance that information holds, it’s no wonder why we become so incredibly knowledgeable and gifted in our areas of interests! It’s monotropism, y’all!

Editor: Natalie Bunner, LCSW-BACS

References:

Garau, V., Murray, A., Woods, R., Chown, N., Hallett, S., Murray, F., Wood, R. & Fletcher-Watson, S. (2023, May 10). The monotropism questionnaire: Development and validation of a new self-report measure of monotropism. OSF (Open Science Framework). https://doi.org/10.17605/OSF.IO/WPX5G
Murray, F. (2023). Monotropism and wellbeing. Monotropism. https://monotropism.org/wellbeing/

Hilarious.

Affectionate.

STRONG WILLED.

You’re One of a Kind, Oliver!

You are Amazing!

Year Five is such an awesome year! You are learning, growing and helping Mom and Dad learn and grow with you. I hope that your birthday is so awesome that it impacts your entire year.

Happy Birthday, Oliver!

Food Relapse is REAL, people!

You could have successfully watched every fat, carb and protein calorie that entered your mouth for TEN months and fall prey to the dessert table on Thanksgiving Day! How does it happen? Frankly, holiday stress and an abundance of food! I know family time is generally good times but it can be stressful so don’t come @ me. But, with a little few effective techniques, we can bypass that setback and enjoy our holidays without guilt!

Okay, before you totally flip out, know that this post isn’t about avoiding the peach cobbler and pecan pie on the Thanksgiving menu. It’s about enjoying the holiday experience without relying on food to get through it. This took me years to learn and my execution still isn’t perfect. However, it has helped me conquer my compulsion to eat my holiday emotions. Here are a few simple tips and techniques that have worked for me and mine.

Ways to Enjoy Holiday Food without Guilt

• Planning and Preparing: A big part of holiday relapse is showing up to the feast with no idea how to navigate the eating portion effectively. Every time I attempted to show up and wing it, I overate and felt like garbage afterward. For me, planning includes having a general sense of the menu. Don’t be afraid to ask, “Is there anything I can bring that can round out the menu?” They will usually offer up the menu in the discussion, giving you the information you need to prepare for the day. Then, you can determine if the menu provides you with opportunities to eat in moderation.
• Balance the Plate: I know how easy it is to eat your colors on the Thanksgiving plate – yellow mac & cheese, green bean casserole, brown cornbread dressing – we love to eat the carbs! This Thanksgiving, find ways to tilt the plate towards health by adding proteins and lean greens, if possible. Don’t scrimp on the dessert table but choose SLIVERS of cake instead of slices. Remember, there is always the “take-home” plate.
• Avoid Eating your Emotions: As much as we love seeing family during the holidays, it can be quite stressful for some. And, that’s okay. Acknowledge it and ensure that your support system is ready to encourage and assist you during this time. Understand that eating five pounds of Thanksgiving dinner will not eradicate your anxiety but leaning into your support squad can

Thanksgiving will be here before we know it. Don’t dread it. Anticipate the good times to be had by all and know that food is just the icing on the proverbial cake. Eat and enjoy!

It’s holiday break time! Most of us have been looking forward to rest, relaxation and good food! We want to make this week as amazing as possible. So, I will be dropping little tidbits of encouragement and support in hopes that it will enhance your holiday experience!

Giving our Kids Grace and Space

Remember to give your kids grace this week as they process a completely different schedule, new transitions, new people and places. Holiday breaks can be a huge challenge for kids, especially those who need consistent routines.

Physical autonomy is most important during these times. Help them create and maintain healthy boundaries with others. This is a great training ground to foster healthy affection with family and friends.

What will be your focus this week? Giving your kids more grace or more space?

Thought:

• 

Tip:

What’s that Sound? Helping your kids learn the value of silence

Ever heard of the ‘Silence Game’? The goal of this activity is to help kids create healthy intentional listening abilities. This can be used by educators and parents alike. Here is an except from a wonderful article by Maren Schmidt, a renown Montesorri educator.

“To play, gather up ten or so items that you can manipulate to create a noise, for example, clicking a pen, moving the teeth of a comb, crumbling a piece of paper, tapping a fork on a table, flicking a fingernail against a glass, opening and closing a clothespin, etc. Invite your children to turn their backs to you. Tell them you’re going to make a noise and they should guess what it is. Make sure the room is quiet as possible, with television and radio turned off. Make three or four sounds and have the children guess. “

Thanks:

We all need that friend who we can be accountable to, be challenged by and grow with. I am blessed with several of such friends. Today, I am grateful for my friend, my confidant, Sarah Thibodeaux. I am guaranteed to be stretched and provoked to deeper thought with her. I love you, Sarah. You’re the best!

Thought: Kind Wishes

Tip: The Gratitude Jar

A gratitude jar is a great way to practice mindful gratitude.  Start the morning with Post-It notes and jot down one thing something you are thankful for.  Place the note in the Gratitude Jar of your choosing.  Next step mindfulness: at the end of the week, reflect with gratitude over some of the notes. 

Thanks:

I am grateful for time. Time to love freely. Time to sit and reflect. Time to connect and reconnect. Time to bask in the goodness of my life. What are you grateful for?

You are an astronaut. An engineer. A retired fighter pilot. A Navy captain. You are Scott Kelly and you have ADHD. What was considered challenges for many became assets for him. So, what do you do with the knowledge and skills that you’ve gained over the years? You pass it on to someone else.

October is ADHD Awareness Month but ADHD doesn’t take a break: it is a full-time issue. So, let’s help our little and big people see their worth, as they are RIGHT NOW. Be their advocate, champion them as they seek and find the skills that help them succeed. One of the most powerful things we can do for those we love is to remind them that ADHD is only one aspect of them; it doesn’t define them. Respect their superpower. And, above all, be KIND.

Learn more about ADHD: Understood.org