Category: Social Work in the City

“He’s such a quiet kid…”

Walking into the gym, I found him surrounded by four 5th-grade girls. He looked angry yet resigned, fending them off half-heartedly as they taunted him, slapped at him, tried to steal his glasses from his face. Again. This was clearly a bullying incident. Immediately, the behavior was disrupted, the girl gang was disbanded and the Behavioral Specialist intervened. Sidebar: bullying should not be tolerated in any setting. What made this incident more challenging was that, while the environment was loud and chaotic with kids laughing and shouting around him, he did not make a sound. He just sat on the bleachers, watching me. I knew why he hadn’t tried to defend himself with words or report his bullies to teachers. It was because he couldn’t.

He has selective mutism.

Selective Mutism – What is that?

According to the Selective Mutism, Anxiety and Related Disorder Treatment Center, “Selective Mutism (SM) is a complex childhood anxiety disorder characterized by a child’s inability to speak and communicate effectively in select social settings, such as school. These children are able to speak and communicate in settings where they are comfortable, secure, and relaxed.” Due to debilitating fear and anxiety, children with SM feel incapable of articulating their thoughts and feelings. Thus, they experience extensive bouts of silence. The internal and external pressure to express with words further entrenches the inability to talk. So, I knew that this conversation would be unique. In order to release his thoughts and feelings with me, he had to see me as an ally. He had to feel like I was truly listening to what he had to say, even though he would not speak a word. Above all, he needed to feel safe and be heard.

Encouraging Communication with Someone with SM

When he entered my office, I produced a colorful array of dry erase markers and let him choose a color. Pulling chairs up to my writing board, I briefly explained that I wanted to talk to him about the incident that happened earlier. I pulled a marker from batch and wrote, “What happened?” He stood at the board and pondered. Sitting next to him, calm and assuring, I allowed him the space to process the question. He began to write his account of the event on the board. I did not read his answers aloud as we ventured into his thoughts and feelings; he had already expressed them so repeating them was not necessary. At times, I could hear a slight humming, as if he was testing his voice, but I did not call attention to it. We processed the incident and how it impacted him, in writing. My last question was, “What can I do to help you?” He thought about it for almost a minute. He then responded, “Let me come to your office when I can’t handle it.” That statement expressed two important things: one, he was willing to attempt communication with me because I met him at his level of ability. Two, he had found a place on campus where he felt safe.

October is Selective Mutism Awareness Month. If you are interested in learning more about SM, check out the following sites:

• https://selectivemutismcenter.org/
• https://www.asha.org/public/speech/disorders/Selective-Mutism/
• https://www.selectivemutism.org/
• https://childmind.org/guide/teachers-guide-to-selective-mutism/

Here is one of the things that remain constant in Social Work: the work is plentiful and those who can do it effectively are few. Perhaps that is what makes the work so compelling; those of us who do social work well are tenacious and are willing to go above and beyond to help our fellow human. The primary principle of Social Work is to service the need of others. Even when resources are significantly limited.

Finding resources in Lafayette, LA that aren’t already tapped out for this fiscal year is a monumental challenge. Community non-profits are stretched thin and philanthropy is currently in ebb as companies save their charity dollars for the holiday season. Food banks and churches battle the “feast to famine” phenomenon that impacts their ability to serve their communities consistently. Good intentions clash with dwindling resources and social workers are left to attempt to bridge the two to provide desperately needed services.

I’ve needed all weekend to process this past week. And, man, what an experience it has been! School fights, DCFS calls, helping a displaced family found temporary housing, working with the truancy team to stem the flow of absenteeism. It was a lot. What made the week more exhausting was that, at times, it felt like I was going it alone. There are elements of the work that can be done by other professionals. And I work with an amazing group of them; teamwork truly makes the Dream work! But, compassion fatigue is definitely real. (We will certainly revisit this topic later!) When I receive a report from a teacher that one of their students came to school with bodily injuries, the expectation is that I, the social worker, will investigate. Although teachers are mandated reporters, the understanding is that, if the child reports that her injuries were made by a caregiver that I, the social worker, will file a report with the Department of Child and Family Services. During those instances, the work can feel daunting and overwhelming.

Look, we know we signed up for this; we’re not having a pity party around here. We social workers just need a minute to remember that, just as we can be effective in providing resources in a state that is known for its resource deficits, using our personal lifelines are just as important. As social workers, we need to identify and utilize the people, programs and community connections to regain and maintain a professional and personal surplus.

When we slow down long enough to think it through, we realize that we are not doing this incredible work alone. We have our people and they are legit. We can do this.

Have you ever been to Detroit? If you haven’t, you’re not alone. When planning family trips, Detroit is probably not one of your top three favorite destinations. When most people think of the city, these words may come to mind: gritty, impoverished, dangerous, abandoned. And, during my first experience there, I would have agreed with you.

Several years ago, I was invited to Detroit to provide training to youth workers from all over the city. For several weeks, we moved throughout the city, connecting with some of the most amazing, resilient and committed youth advocates. Over time, I grew to love this hardy city and its people. My initial reservations about Detroit were indelibly affected as I witnessed the effort youth were making to change their lives with every bit of resources made available to them. Story after story described kids making extraordinary efforts to finish high school, get out of gangs, go to college while being caregivers, find viable employment. They attacked obstacles and goals with the same ferocity and persevered, defying the odds.

This year, Detroit is giving the world a glimpse into the hearts of their youth through the Detroit Youth Choir featured on America’s Got Talent. This group melds two of my most cherished life sources, working with youth and making music! I am once again awe-inspired by the bold joy the students expressed through song; they are clearly in pursuit of greatness! This is the city I know! To be a Detroiter is to be resilient, courageous and strong. I want to be a Detroiter!

Watching their performance tonight, I find myself reflecting on the universal challenge we all face: working in the dark. We have all been there, toiling relentlessly at a goal when no one else is paying attention. Shedding blood, sweat and tears over something that mattered deeply to you but, seemingly, no one else cared about. Are we committed to diving into the deep over and again to see our dreams come to fruition? Will we yield to the planning and preparing that comes with accepting the challenge? Achievement doesn’t happen overnight; it will require unerring focus and a relentless work ethic that most people will not see. But I wonder how fulfilling life would be for us all if we committed to living a purposeful, abundant life?

Watch this clip and ask yourself, “Am I a Detroiter?”

https://youtu.be/DM0lEeCDX30

#humanity

Part of the reason I choose to complete a Masters program in Social Work was because of its focus on servicing diverse groups of people in a variety of ways. There is nothing linear about social work – no two experiences are the same thus no one solution yields the same results. You have to be malleable, flexible and adaptable. The prerequisite to being effective in social work is the willingness to learn from those you serve and use the new knowledge to enrich your encounter with the next client, family, patient, student. Here, we will delve into the lives of our communities and learn those valuable lessons that fulfill us. But first, in order to flourish in the badass field of social work, grow in connection with our fellow man and live the expansive lives we desire, we must prioritize #humanity.

How do we do that, prioritize humanity? How do we learn to see those around us as valuable parts of a healthy society?

Three Ways to Prioritize Humanity

1. Thoughtfulness: It is not nearly as encompassing as people think, being thoughtful. It simply asks that we consider the hearts and minds of others with our words and actions. Acknowledging that those in our world have merit, value and are worthy of our compassion.
2. Vulnerability: “Sharing is caring.” At the surface, it might seem like such a superficial statement but it is a simple yet profound truth. Sharing is more than giving to and taking from others. Instead, it is unconditional positive regard for one another that fosters safe spaces and allows us into the most intimate crevices of our identity, creating a cycle of vulnerability and connectedness.
3. Awareness: Walking through the world with our eyes open is not only valuable in the literal sense but it is imperative from the relational perspective. Understanding who is walking alongside us increases our ability to build healthy, sustainable relationships. Self-awareness keeps us mindful about how we influence our environment. Global awareness allows us to live in empathy, overflow with compassion, recognize the uniqueness in every community and celebrate diversity.

To those who see the value of every person, regardless of race, culture, gender, sexual orientation, physical ability, mental capacity or socio-economical status, you are the light. Regardless of where we land in the landscape of this vibrant, awe-inspiring place called Earth, know that your contribution of Goodwill has healing ripple effects. In the words of Stevie Wonder, “I’m gonna keep on trying ’til I reach my Highest Ground”.