Are we growing under the Tree of Compassionate Empathy? Are we blooming in the soil of warmth, insight and mutual respect? When we spread seeds of kindness, inclusivity, and authenticity into the earth around us, we ARE growing. We ARE blooming.
Tip:
This video provides us with a perfect pattern of breathing to help us overwhelm our bouts of anxiety. It is also a wonderful brain break regardless of how you feel!
Thanks:
On Black Friday, the transmission on my car died while driving 45 miles an hour on I-49 with traffic. So, I am very grateful for God’s safety and protection that allowed us to coast into an empty parking lot without incident. I am also grateful for the ten years of memories created with that car; so many experiences, friendships and decisions were made behind the wheel of my trusty Altima.
I thought I didn’t want to be a mother. I loved working with children and did so with passion and energy. But, I wasn’t sure if I would be a good mother. And then you were born. I can’t even remember life before you. My love for humanity expanded in a way I cannot explain when you were born.
You are a gem. One of a kind. My little Spartan. My wild, wonderful, and wacky Edison. You see the world from such a unique perspective and help me gain understanding and insight into what it’s like to be a kid in today’s world.
Your superpower is Hyperlexia and, although do not understand it, makes you one of the most interesting, most intelligent people I know. You can read at a second grade level and you already know your multiplication facts for your four ones, fives and tens.
You are smitten by little babies and you fiercely protect your brother, even from me sometimes. ?
Consider the reality that some people did not have wonderful family-oriented holiday plans. Some dealt with grief during this season while others struggled with abandonment and broken promises. Some ate peanut butter sandwiches instead of 5-course Thanksgiving spread. Our friends, family, co-workers may have experienced too much heartache or not enough connection during this holiday. So, today, share grace and compassion with others. Give them a bit of time to reacclimate to post-holiday life and let them know that you’re there for them. Being Present is the BEST gift.
Thanks:
So, we bit the bullet and hosted Edison’s birthday party at ChuckECheese this weekend. What would have been an overwhelming experience (for both him and me, seriously!) became very manageable, thanks to Paige, our birthday host! She made the experience go by smoothly, which allowed us to enjoy his birthday party. Kudos to chuckecheese.com and Paige! We just might party there again!
This may come up as you sit around the family table tomorrow. You know what I’m talking about – the two conversations that rarely end well. No, not LSU and Nick Saban! Religion and politics. You know your family better than I do. Do YOU think you should initiate the conversation about the impeachment hearings or Chick-Fil-A pulling their holy funds from anti-LGBTQIA+ organizations?
Well, do you??
Here’s my disclaimer: I truly understand the value of healthy, crucial conversations. When both parties are listening to understand and exploring thought with truth and grace, the revelations birthed from that discourse can deepen a relationship in such a profound way. If these are the family dynamics around your Thanksgiving table, go forth and have a blessed holiday season.
But for the rest of us… Let’s talk
The primary question to consider is this: what kind of holiday experience do we want? It’s an important question. Our answer will influence how we will approach holiday table talk. If we want to have conversations with family and friends that foster love and laughter at the dinner table, consider that exchanging hilarious stories from childhood might be more effective than bringing up the 2020 election.
Remember, we have no control over how uncle JJ will behave after his second two-finger pour. He may initiate his opinion of the Catholic church. But, does that mean we have to react to his notions? If Grandma starts hounding you about finding a man (“but NOT a Muslim!”) or having another baby (“A girl, already! You have enough boys!”), do we allow our emotions to impair our ability to navigate those statements?
Perhaps, instead of giving them our “keeping it 100” retort, we should remind ourselves of our preferred holiday experience and consider a few ways to capture it:
Redirect the conversation to something that we can both explore in a meaningful way.
For the more persistent intrusions, speak kindly and firmly that we are not interested in conversing about the offensive topic today.
If they are insistent in pushing toxic conversations, don’t be afraid to discontinue the interaction and start a conversation with someone else. Why? Because BOUNDARIES, that’s why!
The holiday table can be a minefield at times. Our families aren’t always in perfect sync and things can get hairy as we try to connect with each other. However, we can get through the day unscathed simply by intentionally using our words to bring light, love and laughter. Just know that, if the family holiday experience becomes such an arduous task that we dread attending, we should probably process why we continue to go. It might be time to start a new holiday tradition!
Sara Kuburic, CCC (@millennial_therapist) dropped this awesome post on Instagram that supports our efforts to speak kindly and firmly to intrusive conversations, Enjoy!
You could have successfully watched every fat, carb and protein calorie that entered your mouth for TEN months and fall prey to the dessert table on Thanksgiving Day! How does it happen? Frankly, holiday stress and an abundance of food! I know family time is generally good times but it can be stressful so don’t come @ me. But, with a little few effective techniques, we can bypass that setback and enjoy our holidays without guilt!
Okay, before you totally flip out, know that this post isn’t about avoiding the peach cobbler and pecan pie on the Thanksgiving menu. It’s about enjoying the holiday experience without relying on food to get through it. This took me years to learn and my execution still isn’t perfect. However, it has helped me conquer my compulsion to eat my holiday emotions. Here are a few simple tips and techniques that have worked for me and mine.
Ways to Enjoy Holiday Food without Guilt
Planning and Preparing: A big part of holiday relapse is showing up to the feast with no idea how to navigate the eating portion effectively. Every time I attempted to show up and wing it, I overate and felt like garbage afterward. For me, planning includes having a general sense of the menu. Don’t be afraid to ask, “Is there anything I can bring that can round out the menu?” They will usually offer up the menu in the discussion, giving you the information you need to prepare for the day. Then, you can determine if the menu provides you with opportunities to eat in moderation.
Balance the Plate: I know how easy it is to eat your colors on the Thanksgiving plate – yellow mac & cheese, green bean casserole, brown cornbread dressing – we love to eat the carbs! This Thanksgiving, find ways to tilt the plate towards health by adding proteins and lean greens, if possible. Don’t scrimp on the dessert table but choose SLIVERS of cake instead of slices. Remember, there is always the “take-home” plate.
Avoid Eating your Emotions: As much as we love seeing family during the holidays, it can be quite stressful for some. And, that’s okay. Acknowledge it and ensure that your support system is ready to encourage and assist you during this time. Understand that eating five pounds of Thanksgiving dinner will not eradicate your anxiety but leaning into your support squad can
Thanksgiving will be here before we know it. Don’t dread it. Anticipate the good times to be had by all and know that food is just the icing on the proverbial cake. Eat and enjoy!
It’s holiday break time! Most of us have been looking forward to rest, relaxation and good food! We want to make this week as amazing as possible. So, I will be dropping little tidbits of encouragement and support in hopes that it will enhance your holiday experience!
Giving our Kids Grace and Space
Remember to give your kids grace this week as they process a completely different schedule, new transitions, new people and places. Holiday breaks can be a huge challenge for kids, especially those who need consistent routines.
Physical autonomy is most important during these times. Help them create and maintain healthy boundaries with others. This is a great training ground to foster healthy affection with family and friends.
What will be your focus this week? Giving your kids more grace or more space?
One way to bring a restless mind back to center is to use a technique called “Five Senses”. It is a grounding exercise that helps one focus on what is in the immediate instead of the past or the future. Try it when you are feeling frazzled, anxious, frustrated or unfocused.
Take a deep breath. Hold it for 1…2…3…seconds. Release it: 3…2…1
Focus on your surroundings. Name 5 things you can see. Name them out loud. “I see the painting on the wall…I see the red chair…”
What do you hear? Name 4 things that you can hear. Name them out loud. “I hear the scraping of the chair…I hear a door close…”
Name 3 things that you can feel. Name them out loud. “I feel my sweater on my skin…I feel the sweat on my forehead…”
Name 2 things that you can smell. Name them out loud. “I smell the scent of my lotion…I smell the air freshener…” If you can not smell anything, name two favorite smells.
Lastly, name 1 thing that you can taste. Name it out loud. “I taste my peppermint…” If you can not smell anything, name your favorite taste.”
Now that you have completed the exercise, breath. Hold for 3…2…1. Release it: 3…2…1.
Thanks:
I am grateful for parents and parent in-laws that love spending time with our children. This weekend, my kids enjoyed their time with my parents and I was truly thankful for that.
What’s that Sound? Helping your kids learn the value of silence
Ever heard of the ‘Silence Game’? The goal of this activity is to help kids create healthy intentional listening abilities. This can be used by educators and parents alike. Here is an except from a wonderful article by Maren Schmidt, a renown Montesorri educator.
“To play, gather up ten or so items that you can manipulate to create a noise, for example, clicking a pen, moving the teeth of a comb, crumbling a piece of paper, tapping a fork on a table, flicking a fingernail against a glass, opening and closing a clothespin, etc. Invite your children to turn their backs to you. Tell them you’re going to make a noise and they should guess what it is. Make sure the room is quiet as possible, with television and radio turned off. Make three or four sounds and have the children guess. “
Thanks:
We all need that friend who we can be accountable to, be challenged by and grow with. I am blessed with several of such friends. Today, I am grateful for my friend, my confidant, Sarah Thibodeaux. I am guaranteed to be stretched and provoked to deeper thought with her. I love you, Sarah. You’re the best!
A gratitude jar is a great way to practice mindful gratitude. Start the morning with Post-It notes and jot down one thing something you are thankful for.  Place the note in the Gratitude Jar of your choosing. Next step mindfulness: at the end of the week, reflect with gratitude over some of the notes.Â
Thanks:
I am grateful for time. Time to love freely. Time to sit and reflect. Time to connect and reconnect. Time to bask in the goodness of my life. What are you grateful for?
You are an astronaut. An engineer. A retired fighter pilot. A Navy captain. You are Scott Kelly and you have ADHD. What was considered challenges for many became assets for him. So, what do you do with the knowledge and skills that you’ve gained over the years? You pass it on to someone else.
October is ADHD Awareness Month but ADHD doesn’t take a break: it is a full-time issue. So, let’s help our little and big people see their worth, as they are RIGHT NOW. Be their advocate, champion them as they seek and find the skills that help them succeed. One of the most powerful things we can do for those we love is to remind them that ADHD is only one aspect of them; it doesn’t define them. Respect their superpower. And, above all, be KIND.
