A son’s love. Hearing “I love you so much, Momma.” from Oliver fills my heart to overflowing every time. When he says it, I KNOW that he means it.
Cassie Murphy. Sometimes, all it takes is a facial twitch from her to send me into peals of laughter. She is medicine to my soul.
Louisiana cuisine. Thank you @HubCityDiner for making gumbo a constant hit and having it available all year around!
Two wonderful Life Group sessions this Saturday! Leading “Walk It Out” and “Chicks with Coffee” this weekend was an awesome opportunity to meet up and connect with members of Landmark Church and the community of Lafayette! If you’re interested in knowing more, leave a comment and I’ll send you the deets!
Family Pile-Ups: Spending time with the boys this Sunday afternoon, piled up in our bed, with toys and games, watching silly videos and singing funny songs. I never tire of the love and laughter that comes from those moments.
Have you ever been to Detroit? If you haven’t, you’re not alone. When planning family trips, Detroit is probably not one of your top three favorite destinations. When most people think of the city, these words may come to mind: gritty, impoverished, dangerous, abandoned. And, during my first experience there, I would have agreed with you.
An abandoned home sits in an empty field in Brush Park, north of Detroit’s downtown.
Several years ago, I was invited to Detroit to provide training to youth workers from all over the city. For several weeks, we moved throughout the city, connecting with some of the most amazing, resilient and committed youth advocates. Over time, I grew to love this hardy city and its people. My initial reservations about Detroit were indelibly affected as I witnessed the effort youth were making to change their lives with every bit of resources made available to them. Story after story described kids making extraordinary efforts to finish high school, get out of gangs, go to college while being caregivers, find viable employment. They attacked obstacles and goals with the same ferocity and persevered, defying the odds.
This year, Detroit is giving the world a glimpse into the hearts of their youth through the Detroit Youth Choir featured on America’s Got Talent. This group melds two of my most cherished life sources, working with youth and making music! I am once again awe-inspired by the bold joy the students expressed through song; they are clearly in pursuit of greatness! This is the city I know! To be a Detroiter is to be resilient, courageous and strong. I want to be a Detroiter!
Watching their performance tonight, I find myself reflecting on the universal challenge we all face: working in the dark. We have all been there, toiling relentlessly at a goal when no one else is paying attention. Shedding blood, sweat and tears over something that mattered deeply to you but, seemingly, no one else cared about. Are we committed to diving into the deep over and again to see our dreams come to fruition? Will we yield to the planning and preparing that comes with accepting the challenge? Achievement doesn’t happen overnight; it will require unerring focus and a relentless work ethic that most people will not see. But I wonder how fulfilling life would be for us all if we committed to living a purposeful, abundant life?
Watch this clip and ask yourself, “Am I a Detroiter?”
Mindfulness allows us to explore critical experiences with wisdom, especially when working with children. Whether as a parent, educator, therapist or any other youth worker, modeling calm presence when they are upset helps them to see that they are valued at their most vulnerable.
Tips:
This 9-minute video provides a wonderful meditation that alleviates life’s stressors and brings US back into focus.
Thanks:
I am thankful for friends who extend their strength into my moments of weakness and allow me to rest. Finding people in life that will selflessly cradle you with their words of wisdom, prayers, positive vibes and sense of humor is so rare. I feel incredibly grateful to have such wonderful beings in my world.
Massages are front runners in my self-care toolbox. I know when I’m overdue to a 60-minute ‘Time-out’ because I become as grizzly as a bear and no one wants to deal with that! Physical Touch is my love language and my preferred self-care consists of activities that render me completely unavailable to the outside world. So, it’s not hard to see why getting a massage would be at the top of my favorite “Treat Yo Self!” list. My wonderful husband gifted me with massages as a birthday present a few years ago and it is truly the gift that keeps on giving, y’all!
Does Self-Care = Comfort?
Here are the things I love about getting massages: the pampering, peace and quiet and alone time. I always leave feeling refreshed and relaxed, ready to tackle the rest of the day. My mind has time to clear and I have experienced moments of clarity on the table that I probably wouldn’t have had anywhere else. But, here’s the deal: massages are not always comfortable. In fact, there are times when my inward wincing becomes an actual grimace because kneading the knots out of my shoulders HURT. I didn’t get a massage to feel pain, I went to my massage therapist to work THROUGH the pain. Pain that comes with anxiety, disappointment, feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. I am aware that it will not always be comfortable; at times, it will actually feel sucky. But, if I embrace the pressure, I can walk away feeling better than ever.
Most times, embracing the pressure can be the hardest thing we’ve ever done. It can mean that we have to terminate a toxic relationship instead of living in codependency or take the job that pays less but offers a healthier working environment. Stepping into the new can be hard; heck, it can be downright scary at times. But, on the other side of the pressure, is the life that we have only hoped to experience.
Instead of spending our precious life moments trying to escape the discomfort, may we have the courage to embrace the challenges before us. Build a support team and secure healthy relationships to optimize the experience; we’re not created to experience life alone. We are meant to experience LIFE. So, harness your fear, put on your Courage Cape and step into the fray.
Just imagine what our world would look like if we allowed emotional repression to give way to mindful expression…
Tip:
Have you heard of Mindful for the People? This initiative, led by Dr. Angela Black, provides courses such as Introduction to Mindfulness/Compassion and Mind/Body Racial Resilience, giving us the opportunity to learn and grow in the magnanimous juxtaposition of mindfulness and racial restoration.
“Living just enough for the city Believing just enough for the city – Stevie Wonder
#humanity
Part of the reason I choose to complete a Masters program in Social Work was because of its focus on servicing diverse groups of people in a variety of ways. There is nothing linear about social work – no two experiences are the same thus no one solution yields the same results. You have to be malleable, flexible and adaptable. The prerequisite to being effective in social work is the willingness to learn from those you serve and use the new knowledge to enrich your encounter with the next client, family, patient, student. Here, we will delve into the lives of our communities and learn those valuable lessons that fulfill us. But first, in order to flourish in the badass field of social work, grow in connection with our fellow man and live the expansive lives we desire, we must prioritize #humanity.
How do we do that, prioritize humanity? How do we learn to see those around us as valuable parts of a healthy society?
Three Ways to Prioritize Humanity
No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of another. -Charles Dickens
Thoughtfulness: It is not nearly as encompassing as people think, being thoughtful. It simply asks that we consider the hearts and minds of others with our words and actions. Acknowledging that those in our world have merit, value and are worthy of our compassion.
Vulnerability: “Sharing is caring.” At the surface, it might seem like such a superficial statement but it is a simple yet profound truth. Sharing is more than giving to and taking from others. Instead, it is unconditional positive regard for one another that fosters safe spaces and allows us into the most intimate crevices of our identity, creating a cycle of vulnerability and connectedness.
Awareness: Walking through the world with our eyes open is not only valuable in the literal sense but it is imperative from the relational perspective. Understanding who is walking alongside us increases our ability to build healthy, sustainable relationships. Self-awareness keeps us mindful about how we influence our environment. Global awareness allows us to live in empathy, overflow with compassion, recognize the uniqueness in every community and celebrate diversity.
To those who see the value of every person, regardless of race, culture, gender, sexual orientation, physical ability, mental capacity or socio-economical status, you are the light. Regardless of where we land in the landscape of this vibrant, awe-inspiring place called Earth, know that your contribution of Goodwill has healing ripple effects. In the words of Stevie Wonder, “I’m gonna keep on trying ’til I reach my Highest Ground”.
“The only thing that is ultimately real about your journey is the step that you are taking at this moment. That’s all there ever is.” Eckhart Tolle
Tip:
“The goal of calming exercises is to get yourself from “flight, fight or freeze” mode back to “rest and digest” mode. Deep breathing helps get more oxygen into your bloodstream, opening up your capillaries. It has a physical effect on your body to help you calm down and lower stress.” Coping Skill for Kids: Deep Breathing Exercises for Kids gives us wonderful calming practices that we can use to assist us in remaining mindful and away from destructive worry. The video above provides a 2-minute breathing exercise using the Hoberman Sphere. Enjoy!
I am learning to show gratitude for the little things. Today, I am thankful for snuggles with Ollie and serenades from Rhys, hair that didn’t frizz in this afternoon’s torrential downpour and an amazing cup of Madagascar Vanilla Latte. What are you thankful for?
Weekday mornings in our house consist of sleeping until the last possible minute, flinging through the shower, throwing clothes at the kids to put on and running out of the house like it’s on fire. Makeup? What’s that? I brushed my teeth, be grateful! So, most morning meals are eaten in the car on the way to school. The backseat of the car may look like a restaurant after the last shift but it’s the price to pay for an extra five minutes of sleep, am I right?
One morning, my son left a cup of milk in my car. When I got into the car at lunchtime, it smelled god awful! Have you ever inhaled the stench of milk left in a hot car for four hours?? Like, UGH. It is truly one of life’s olfactory traumas!
My first thought was, “Don’t cry over spilled milk.” But, it hadn’t spilled, it was curdled. See, spilled milk is a mistake. Curdled milk is the consequence of intentionally avoiding an issue until it’s unmanageable. I had become so accustomed to the chaos that it took a smell equivalent to infant vomit to jar me back to reality! All of a sudden, I couldn’t deal with the leftover breakfast bar wrappers and the empty juice pouches, either. I wanted my clean car back!
We don’t have to resort to debilitating self-deprecation when we make a mistake. We all make mistakes. But, we can find the courage to face our missteps, own our struggles and learn and grow from them. Taking on that challenge is a far healthier response than avoiding things until life explodes.
Is there an area in your well-being that is “curdling”? What is keeping you from dealing with it?
Consider the friend who has proven to be unwavering in their support of your dreams and aspirations. The one who always says, “If anyone can do it, you can!” Reach out to them today and thank them for always being there!
