I could tell when he woke up this morning that it was an “Oh No!” kind of day. He seemed irritable and withdrawn. His usual voracious appetite dwindled down to him leaving his breakfast half-eaten. And, most noticeably, he looked sad. After intervening in three different conflicts between him and his brother before breakfast, one being that he wanted his biscuit closed after I put jelly on it (and I didn’t because he demanded it…Go, me. #powerstruggle ?), he sat at the dinner table in a full-blown pout. I squelched the desire to gather up his little 5-year old attitude and throw it out the front door and, instead, sat next to him.
“What is going on, bud?”
He grunted and turned away.
“Do you need space? Do you need a hug?
He turned to me and said, “I need a hug.“
As I wrapped my arms around him and snuggled him close to me, I felt deep empathy for him. Before I even asked, I knew what was going on. Everything was off. Even with the effort to provide him with some daily structure at home, it was just not the same. As I held him, he burst into tears. Heartbroken sobs came from deep in his little soul. And, I felt that. As I recently explored in a Lafayette Mom post, sometimes we all need a good cry. We just need to be held and told that this topsy turvy experience is just temporary. He said that he missed his classroom, his friends, his teachers. I told him that, although I didn’t know when he would see them again, he can have as many hugs as he needed today.
Ways to Help Kids Deal With Transition
When we think about transitions in our own lives, we consider the big ones first, like moving to a new city, losing a job, marriage, divorce or adapting to parenthood. That level of change caused ripple effects in our lives that may still affect us to this day. As we are prone to prioritize importance to life events based on their impact on our lives, it is easy to overlook or minimize the impact of change on our children.
And, let’s face it: A 30-day school shutdown that came without warning is a huge deal to a child. I am an adult and was SHOOK by the news! So, imagine trying to process such a major change as a child who, for better or worse, came to rely on the structure that most educational environments provide. Frankly, I’m surprised that it took him so long to express his feelings about missing school. Still, as a mom, I want to help him acclimate to this new experience as healthy as possible.
Here’s what is working for us…
- We are focusing on social-emotional health. As important as the academic work is during this season, we are highlighting SE skill building that will benefit them in life, regardless of what grade they are in. (Check out our #LearningatHome post on nataliebunner.com for in-depth exploration of this! )
- We are trying to keep the communication lines open. Most teachers use some form of communication app, such as ClassTag or Remind, to maintain an open dialogue with parents. We are using this to keep communication open with their teachers and friends! Whether we make a little video or email a virtual note or an e-card, our goal is to help maintain positive interaction with their peers until they reunite at school.
- We are fostering empathy. This is a great opportunity to model and encourage compassion for others who may also feel disconnected and lonely. We have a Creative Moment planned to make cards for some awesome seniors in our community nursing homes. This allows them to process their own feelings about the recent upheaval while bringing hope and positivity to others.
There is no magic cure for taking away the transition blues. However, with time, love, and tons of hugs, we can help our kids deal with this transition and many more to come. Parents, what are YOU using to help your children deal with this transition? We would love to hear from you!